R

ecently, my husband was out of town. Between school, a touch of food poisoning, and various projects, life was quite full the first 48-hours he was gone. Late in the afternoon on day three, my body got slammed with a longing for him that felt like I was on the brink of desperation.

Usually, the longing sets in during day one of his absence. As he prepares to take his trip, I prepare a bunch of stuff to get done while I have the house and the hours of the days to myself. The enthusiasm for everything I can get accomplished on my own lasts about six hours. By the ninth hour, missing him has become a distraction. And by the next morning, no matter how long his trip will be, I’m ready for him to be home.

The longing stirs awake quietly, like a kitten waking up from a nap, deciding it’s time to eat. She pads in softly, circling in and around my ankles with a steady stare, as if I can do something about the hunger. Only this isn’t a kitten needing to be fed. It’s my soul longing for the presence of her soul mate and I’m in control of neither his return nor her appeasement.

That’s how it usually arrives. This time my focus on getting well, taking care of school work, and my investment in a household project kept the hungry kitten at bay. The second I slowed down, she shoved me off balance – a lioness insisting on being seen, heard, and felt. I may have been distracted this time but the longing was stirring and rising anyway. Some part of me was working on its own, even as the rest of me was preoccupied, not paying attention.

When the body, mind, heart, and soul long for the real, physical presence of the beloved, desire takes seed and grows regardless of how much attention it is given. It can be a slow moving thing, capturing your attention day by day, sometimes hour by hour; or it can tackle you with a demanding presence.

♥

Regardless of how it occurs, love demanding attention is a reminder that life is here and now and short and brilliant…and that this longing and desire are part of the privilege of getting to love someone.

♥