“So this is Christmas…” and I am bent out of shape over everything that won’t get done in time for Christmas day, over the deep desire for peace and quiet that can’t be realized till Christmas is over, and over the wreck my office-at-home will remain until I finish wrapping gifts. Bah humbug!

I have to laugh at myself because I experience this angst every single year. And every single year I make it worse by judging myself for it. The longer it lasts, the more I judge, the deeper the shame mires me down, down, down…

Guilt, anxiety, and shame are the ego’s tough task masters. Today I realized that whenever I’m feeling guilty, anxious, or shamed, I have already judged myself.

• When I feel anxious over what I’m not getting done, I’ve already judged myself and found me lacking.
• When I feel and act like a child, I’ve already judged myself and found me unworthy.
• When people disappoint me, I’ve already judged not only them but myself as well.
• When Christmas doesn’t live up to my expectations, I’ve judged myself for not being perfect. Even though I know perfection isn’t possible.

Peace, stillness, and equanimity are what I crave. When I’m bent out of shape I’m looking to my environment to give me peace, stillness, and equanimity. But I don’t have to wait for it to show up there for me to have it internally.

Much like returning to the mantra in meditation, feeling bent out of shape, guilty, anxious, and shamed can all serve as cues to settle and make another choice – the choice for inner quiet and equanimity no matter what’s going on in the environment or how full my to-do list is.

Ann Voskamp said the same kind of the thing in the poetic way she has when she posted this on Facebook this morning:

“There is no need to produce or perform or perfect. Simply become a place for God. That is all.”

~ Ann Voskamp

Man, oh man, I love that! “Simply become a place for God.” Let go of the little ego-god up in the mind that stomps around and tells us we’re rotten for not being perfect and then still and know – be with – the One who loves us down to the marrow and back again.

I am simply becoming a place for God this Christmas (and in the days that follow). How about you?